Something uncharacteristic is happening to me: I am winning on every front. Or at least, that’s what it feels like. Yesterday I finished an intensely pleasurable 4-5 day hypomanic writing trip. I now have two blogs ready to go public with my “latest and greatest” writing, including 12 new articles written in the last 2-3 weeks (amazing productivity. Needless to say, there was a lot of coffee involved). I have completely redesigned 3 of my 4 websites. The Developmental circling offer is being very well-received: I have led 3 introductions, some with partners; all have been home-runs and I have a fourth one this afternoon with 7 people registered. Yesterday I led an event with Rebekah with 20 people, and it was also a great group. I am absolutely on top of my game, despite over-excitement and resulting fatigue and unease, such as today.
In essence, I have accomplished what I was aiming for: a coherent and attractive body of work that I can present to the world, along with the resurrection of my old Marc’s Life and Travels list that has been dead for two years, as I had no good news to share. I have two new brands, or niches, to pursue (this site and my new author site). In addition to the Circling Guide and the Authentic Singles site, which also have some very good content. This is the most eloquent and professional expression of me that has ever been done. It’s rather intoxicating.
And so… what next?
I notice myself strongly resisting exercise, and that the coffee has stopped working.
I notice myself not wanting to reach out to anybody, while holding the story that I don’t have any friends. But the real truth is that I don’t especially want to talk to anyone. I prefer to continue the conversation with my sub-personalities, but I don’t have a lot of energy for that either. It feels a bit like anhedonia.
It’s the ultimate bipolar nightmare: boredom. The story of my life.
I may go quiet for a bit here. I might try to “walk my talk” and practice a bit of “presence“.
It might help to cut the coffee too. But that’s too ambitious a goal to take seriously.
Writing this article calmed me enough that I could do a short run. Yay 🙂 . I also had the pleasure of finding a solution to a particularly frustrating phone-chess problem. I even wrote a stub article How to learn chess by playing your phone against your computer. I am (reasonably) happy again.
Now back to “work”… strange work because I want to practice.. “not initiating“. Being quiet. I have a lot of content to consume in my line of work, which I am always behind.
Wish me luck.
Continue reading: We have met the enemy and he is us.