Well.. this is turning into a multi-post series. A follow-up to The morning after making love to my journal… oy vey. In the first post, I doubled-down. In this second post, I am tripling-down: drinking even more coffee and writing even more crazy shit. Oy vey, indeed.
One of the impacts of micro-dose Seroquel (12.5mg) is that it predictably gives me a good night’s sleep, as opposed to my usual tortured nights, from which I often awaken feeling like I have been run-over by a truck — and that’s even assuming I did not have any terror dreams or failure dreams. Such as the recurring dream of being lost in a city and not been able to use my phone. For about a decade I dreamt of being back in high-school and failing because I never went to my classes.. that dream stopped when I realized, in the dream, that I had a college degree, and hence I had already graduated high-school and so I must be dreaming. Anyway: the problem with Seroquel, and all sleep medication, is that I wake up feeling fine (at least compared by my usual mornings), and then rush to coffee, which makes me feel like a God, almost every time. As such, it would be fair to say that Seroquel actually amplifies bipolar, in my case. I am honestly not sure whether its a good thing. It is currently, the only psychiatric medication I am taking other than Lithium Orotate 20mg daily, which I have not noticed doing anything for me.
And so today is turning into YET ANOTHER manic writing trip. I wrote the article Best classic movies, documentaries and TV series of 2020, now this one, and I highly suspect I will complete How to talk to the voices inside your head today, as well. That last article has commercial value (meaning that I can market it through social media or guest blogging, in my half-baked plan to become a successful blogger) — as opposed to this and most articles here, that are written to please me. I have been having trouble getting started on the “how to talk to” article.
I did manage a short jog, and I am about to attempt a short yoga now and then eat something (first meal at 1:30pm, other than a banana). Things could be worse.
It may be that I am just gathering content for the “how to talk to” article. Because the central point of that article, is my endless internal dialogue that I ought to be doing something different, than what I am actually doing.
I am taking votes on this one. Please comment: should I, or should I not, be doing something different than what I am currently doing? I really don’t know the answer 🙂
PS: Here is another bipolar breakthrough: this is the first article written here, that is not “Featured” — meaning that it’s not necessarily the best thing that I have ever written :-).